Saturday, March 7, 2009

Bullying the Jukebox......

...because its fun.

There are rules in life. There are rules in dating. There are rules in drinking outta the milk carton.....And there certainly are rules in jukebox playing.

I guess you can call this one of my idiosyncrasies, but I absolutely loathe people who don't know how to pick songs on the jukebox. Some jukeboxes are super old skool and only come with songs 1989 and prior. And for those establishments that have those, consider yourself lucky. With those, it's almost a fail safe that you will find the proverbial "rad" song to play.

Like my 80's vocab?

Thought so.

Yes, you will run into some problems like, "Walking on Sunshine" slipping through the cracks. Wait, what just happened?? Hopefully by the time something like this happens, I've drank enough where I simply just cant hear.

As a public service to you, I have a list of songs that you may and may not play on jukeboxes.
(in no particular order)

Play these songs and these artists:

  1. American Girl
  2. Hey Joe
  3. Blowin' in the Wind
  4. Ring of Fire
  5. Any and I repeat any Beatles song
  6. Elvis
  7. The Who
  8. The Police
  9. Frank Sinatra
  10. Louis Armstrong
  11. Etta James
  12. Everyday-Buddy Holly
  13. Stand by Me
  14. Free Falling
  15. Eric Clapton
  16. D'yer Maker
  17. American Pie
  18. Billy Holiday
  19. Louis Armstrong
  20. Thriller

Ok, so you see me working with what you should play.

DON'T play this songs or artists:

  1. Kelly Clarkson
  2. Eminem
  3. Death Cab for Cutie
  4. Blink 182
  5. Brooks N Dunn
  6. Celine Dion
  7. Josh Groban
  8. Any, and again I repeat any, American Idol contestants "hit"
  9. I'm Yours(Eddie disclaimer: I like Mraz, but this song is played out so I don't want to hear it at the bar)
  10. Sarah Mclachan-theres a time and place for her and the bar isn't it
So, you see me working here, yes? Ok, good. I'm sure I offended some of you Generation Y people but then again, if you are 21 then chances are you haven't heard of any of the songs on the "Please play this song on the jukebox" list. Do yourself a favor, talk to your older sister or brother and culture yourself with some good music. There's more to life than ho's, bitches, sluts and money.

Good Night, and Good Luck

1 comment:

KC said...

If you and I ever go somewhere with a jukebox, I'm playing Death Cab. Just. Because. YOU don't like it. HA!